Echoes of silence like distant drums
That can’t be heard
Yet beat in rhythm to heartbeats
No longer felt
Matching only the loneliest of thoughts
Sent skyward into the unknown
Destinies portrayed in shimmers
Of fleeting life
Offer no other promises.
As I Sit Here
As I sit here waiting
I feel change is coming
Trying to please God and my heart
Sometimes can’t co-exist
When I wait I struggle with lonliness
God has me on my protective island again
Just like when I lost my husband of 34 year
But it is hard not to feel deserted and dry
The beauty of the sea calls to me
The mountains I haven’t climbed
Whisper, “Come on!”
But I wait
My joy is seeping out slowly
Waiting, hoping, needing
But to know avail
No voices are heard
But those of my own heart
It waits with me
Watching, listening, crying, sighing
Oh well, maybe later.
Rough Ride
Waiting is not a kindred spirit of mine
I do not get along with it nor do I want too
I get gravelly like a rough road
That irritates rather than soothes
Expectations and reality do not
Ride well togther
They jostle each other
Pushing and shoving the have their own way
In the end there is no winner
For each must take a backseat to
Disappointments and loneliness
Along with a big dose of uninportance
With self-pity riding shotgun
Emotional bridges loom ahead
They must be faced then crossed
One at a time, step by step
For to not forge ahead no matter
what may be coming means
Stagnation of spirit and soul
Leaving only withered hopes behind.
When the Dream Was New
There is a sadness creeping in
Thoughts of long ago
When the dream was new
Are fading like the horizon
In the rear view mirror
Leaving just memories of what was
Forcing the now to witness
This letting go
Hearts turning every which way
Because they’re lost in this maze of regret
For what time has stolen.
Yet to Cry
Trying to find the words
To describe how I feel
I am sad yet hopeful
Wanting to laugh
And yet to cry would be okay
Hope is dwindling to a slow drip
Others must always come first but really?
Is this a pity party I’m putting together?
What is this melancholy mood?
I want my dreams back
They have gone away again
And I can’t search for them
Life plays tricks on me
Makes promises which are not kept
Doubt dances with regret for time lost
Time that will never come back
Future minutes and seconds are only borrowed
And must be returned
How sad to never be able to plan a ‘for sure’
The unknown will win again over want
Now there is rain in my eyes
With no clouds in the sky
I wish I knew the answer
Maybe then I could see my dreams
And visit them for a spell.
Things of Importance
Things of importance in my invisible realm
Are just a thought away
A cup of coffee with a friend will fill the void
Sitting on my porch watching my roses grow
Planning my garden so it can bloom so pretty
Reality tries to break through but not yet
It doesn’t make things better
My dream world is my comfort for now
Waiting for someone to come by
But they are to busy and don’t have the time
They drive by so close and yet
There are no thoughts of stopping
It’s lonely in this moment of time because
I ,too, have to get busy
Oh well! Maybe tomorrow
Time is the one who dances my life away now.
Someday
Someday will always come
Pushing and shoving me ahead
Even if I don’t want to go
In my tiny mind I know
The future is out there
In the swirling mist of tomorrow
Any time today would be better
So that if I didn’t like the life events
That might plunder my life
I can throw them into yesterday’s memories.
byheavenslight 