Tag: Life

Thoughts of Wonder

Ever wonder why the birds sing at first light

Or why the elephant always remembers where it was born

And goes back to die

How the raptors know where their territory is

On the electric poles

How fish always know when to spawn and where

Why the bee gathers pollen to make the honey

As it pollinates the flowers

How the tree knows what year it is

As they start a new ring

Why babies instinctively know how to nurse

Whether it be bottle or breast

Or how to take that first breath of oxygen

That had already been provided

Where the darkness went when God created His Light

Plus the sun, and moon, and stars in our vast Universe

Why none of what I have mentioned

Was due to anything a human’s creativity

Could accomplish

These are just a few of the trillions upon trillions

Of God’s amazing miracles

That happen every moment of everyday

Yet ‘we’ act like ‘we’ had the plan

We are pompous strutters of ‘self’

Instead of being humble and eternally grateful

For the gifts He has bestowed on us and for us!

Thank You, Father and forgive us, Please.

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‘maybe’

Seems like I have waited my whole life on ‘maybe’

When I was a little kid it was ‘maybe’ I’ll get to play outside

And not have to do chores

As I got older ‘maybe’ that boy in my class will finally like me

As a teenager I had ugly teeth but thought ‘maybe’

I could get braces

When I became grown ‘maybe’ was my wishing well of hopes

‘maybe’ I’ll fall in love and someone will love me too

‘maybe’ I’ll have two or three kids to raise and enjoy

After I was grown it was marriage and sitting up a home

It was three kids whom I adore

The job of ‘maybe’ I’ll get this bill paid before

They ‘maybe’ turn my water off

Becoming a debt dancer to other ‘maybe’

But doable in time

It wasn’t a ‘maybe’ if I was loved

Because I was so blessed

‘maybe’ I was a good Mom

You would have to ask my three kids

‘maybe’ I’ll be a neat ole lady in my dotage

Then again ‘maybe’ not.

We will see, ‘maybe’.

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Beyond All Yesterdays

When our worlds collided

We took notice

Not with big bangs or hallelujahs

But smiles and simple touches

That meant so much

The Universe kept spinning

As stars lite up the night

We had found each other

Beyond all yesterdays

The future danced before us

In the pale moonlight

Sunshine then warmed our souls

While gentle sea breezes

Caressed the sandy shore

Then it happened! Life!

Different directions and paths to take

Other plans took over way back when

Still the joy of knowing

Beyond all doubt that

Over the years and up to now

We had been touched by God’s amazing grace

He will be the One to complete the dance

How beautiful it will be

If it be His will

To dance again under

His canopy of stars

In the pale moonlight

As the angels sing.

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Old Pictures

A strange mood has come over me

One of sadness but not quite

Grief has a soul of it’s own

It must had visited me in the night

I have lost so much in my life

Yet gained the blessings of the sweetest friends

Still I feel as if I don’t quite measure up

Lost somewhere on a road that never ends

I haven’t walked the way of others so much

Not the life of the party I guess

I’m an old soul with ingrained traits

And trusting to much has made me a mess

Seeing the old pictures of times long ago

That mingle with the pictures of now

Grabs my heart with such grief

Yet on I must go

God please show me how

I wait for a future that may never come

Promises are broken when reality steps forth

Can’t go back to pick up the pieces of a broken heart

So sadness and regret dwindle my worth

I see others twirling on life’s dance floor

Enjoying many things but still I wait

Can’t chisel in stone what is to come

Hopefully my last dance won’t be to late

So i sit here holding my grieving heart again

Seeing old pictures of sweet love yet sorrow

I wander back over my life’s path of memories

Of lost yesterdays, today, and maybe tomorrows.

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I Don’t Know

Twilight is creeping up

Over the horizon

Stars will soon share their gifts

The sun is moving on

To fill the next sunrise

How will tomorrow go?

Can life carry on as before?

I don’t know

I did what I thought was right

To keep their hurt at bay

But instead it has made me feel

That I was maybe an option

An not loves priority.

 

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But not Enough

I believe one of the saddest things a heart can hear is “I love you!”

Then it whispers, “But not enough”

How sad God must be when we say, “I love You!” to Him

Does He whisper in that ‘still small voice’

“But not enough”.

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I Can’t Say

My paths have not always been true

I have slipped and slid my way through

But I stand here and say not in disgrace

That I will keep on and finish my race

I may not have traveled as best I should

Sometimes I didn’t even try to be good

Life has played many tricks on me

But I have always manages to walk free

Clouds of storms and winds of change

Buffeted me in this vast open range

Hurricanes of hurt put me to shame

But it was only me to blame

I have given up so much to be here today

But I’m not lost I’ve found another way

I can’t say I will ever get it right

But I won’t go away without a fight

I’ll hang onto the hopes of tomorrow

Not give in to regret or tears of sorrow

I have a new promise that’s now in place

Under the shield of God’s eternal grace.

 

 

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Yet to Cry

Trying to find the words

To describe how I feel

I am sad yet hopeful

Wanting to laugh

And yet to cry would be okay

Hope is dwindling to a slow drip

Others must always come first but really?

Is this a pity party I’m putting together?

What is this melancholy mood?

I want my dreams back

They have gone away again

And I can’t search for them

Life plays tricks on me

Makes promises which are not kept

Doubt dances with regret for time lost

Time that will never come back

Future minutes and seconds are only borrowed

And must be returned

How sad to never be able to plan a ‘for sure’

The unknown will win again over want

Now there is rain in my eyes

With no clouds in the sky

I wish I knew the answer

Maybe then I could see my dreams

And visit them for a spell.

 

 

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Lost Again

5/24/08  This is the last of the the five writings from 2008 when I was taking care of my Mother-in-law who had dementia. She was a beautiful soul but my husband was a recipient of jerk DNA. He wore it proudly and we all suffered for it. There was a lot of stress on me and anyone else who crossed him. Kids included. Writing was my outlet but these were never put on here until now. He is in the nursing home with his own dementia. He pulled one to many stunts and the doctors placed him where he couldn’t run away from himself. If this sounds callous so be it. You cannot judge me unless you lived it.

Lost Again

I have jumped into the deep end of the pool

And can’t swim

Will anyone see me trying to survive?

I’m splashing and yelling but no one cares

They are all to busy trying to survive themselves

I lost again-regret is ruling the emotions

I should have been told how deep the water was

Fear if nothing else would have stopped the jump

But I could have looked myself

Instead I guessed I was right

Maybe that’s what is wrong

Guessing isn’t a certainty but this drowning is

I am sinking now but the water is comforting

It is engulfing me. Trying to help as best it can

It has become my friend and understands

As it seeks it’s own level too

Can it help me find mine?

My world has become slanted

Sometimes happy then sliding into gloom

I know ingratitude is pulling me deeper still

Am I the one who is wrong?

God didn’t tell me the water was so deep

Life has stripped the joy from me

Will I ever get it back?

Will the Lifeguard from above jump in for me?

Am I that important or will He save someone else?

I always seem to be the last one chosen

Maybe I should just learn to swim

Now that’s a thought! Can I even count on me?

We’ll see! I”ll just try a little longer

Hold on to the side and go to the shallow end.

 

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My Garden of Promise

I found God’s note for me today

Tender words written on pages of white

Promises of renewal and hope

Springing forth as the evening dew

Sweet aromas of love yielding to the heart

Sending into the day

Life giving songs of blessings to come

Surprises like seeds planted in fertile soil

Grow beyond today

Creating the harvest of bounty

We will call our new life.

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