Trying to find the words

To describe how I feel

I am sad yet hopeful

Wanting to laugh

And yet to cry would be okay

Hope is dwindling to a slow drip

Others must always come first but really?

Is this a pity party I’m putting together?

What is this melancholy mood?

I want my dreams back

They have gone away again

And I can’t search for them

Life plays tricks on me

Makes promises which are not kept

Doubt dances with regret for time lost

Time that will never come back

Future minutes and seconds are only borrowed

And must be returned

How sad to never be able to plan a ‘for sure’

The unknown will win again over want

Now there is rain in my eyes

With no clouds in the sky

I wish I knew the answer

Maybe then I could see my dreams

And visit them for a spell.