This will be my last post for awhile. My husband has passed away
So I will concentrate on getting on with my life and writing when I am able.
Honoring Those We Lost on 9/11
The Last Time
The last time I saw you
You were waving goodbye from the drive
I didn’t know that I would
Never see you again-alive
My heart still aches with loneliness
For you all these years later
I still grieve for the could have been
The game nights under the lights
And all of our son’s football wins
His graduation with honors
Trophies and collegiate awards
That you will never see
I will always cry for our daughter
On her wedding day because
You were not there to give her away
The last time she saw you
You were smiling and waving
Goodbye from the drive
She didn’t know that she would
Never see you again-alive
Her heart aches with her loneliness for you
She also grieves for the could have been
As she holds our first grandchild in her arms
She will remember and never forget
So many dear souls gone
So many lost in their maze of grief
So many who smiled as they waved goodbye
From the drive
Not knowing what awaited them
Twins Towers of smoke and fire
Hurdled to the ground
Precious souls we remember
Because now only in our memories
Do you smile and wave at us
From the drive
Showing us for all eternity
Your love and devotion
For the very last time.
Patience and Mercy
Patience and mercy where are you?
I walk as if I have been offended again
I pout as if only I matter
Like a silly child with no thumb
To put into my mouth
Really!!!!
God, this is so me!
You must be tired of me
Always doing this!
No patience! No mercy!
Please forgive me as I need to
Forgive others
Is it as hard for You to forgive me?
To show me patience when I’m childish
To show me Your tender mercies
When I fail
As it is for me to show patience
And mercy towards others?
No, because You forgive and forget!
Your tender mercies are new every morning
Your patience is a never-ending supply
I am so sorry!
‘They’
Who are the ‘they’ we are so fearful of
Do ‘they’ do our dishes or pay our bills?
Are ‘they’ the ones with cruel barbs to destroy
The innocent?
Which ‘they’ have walked our path with us?
Who have ‘they’ lost that broke their heart like us?
Did ‘they’ light up the darkness that engulfed our soul?
Will ‘they’ dry our tears of loneliness and grief?
Will ‘they’ warm the coldness of night
With compassion for the lost?
Are ‘they’ so disillusioned with life that
To pull others under seems the thing to do?
Again I ask: Who are the ‘they we are so
Concerned about?
Do we know who ‘they’ are?
Are ‘they’ us?
Are ‘they’ me?
Sounds like ‘they’ need prayer as do ‘I’.
Crest of Defeat
One cannot say what one would do
If left alone for very long
Sadness creeps in
Hindering the joy
Causing doubt to sprout
Among the already thorny
Thoughts of the mind
Promises made don’t matter
For the slightest thing can
Wipe them out and make them
Void of truth
Why put so much store in them
When fate can blow them
Into yesterday in a few seconds
Wrestling with time for the answers
Only marks more emptiness
And travail of heart
Why, when, where and now what
Ponder the questions
Yet no new answers come to mind
Just more sadness and
Shaking of the head
Disappointed in the outcome
Of another day that is passed
Into the mire of other missed moments
Spilling over the crest of defeat
Into the lostness of now.
Just to Let You Know
There isn’t anything don’t you see
That will not be overheard
So I put my heart out there
For all to see
Just to let you know and
Tell you this from me
I will love you for all eternity
And if by the grace of God
We are ever allowed to be
I will wait faithfully but alas
Not patiently for you to see
That I’m right here waiting
Where I said I’d be
And if by God’s Divine decree
We will never get to be
I will always be grateful
That for just a little while
You belonged to me.
Thoughts of Wonder
Ever wonder why the birds sing at first light
Or why the elephant always remembers where it was born
And goes back to die
How the raptors know where their territory is
On the electric poles
How fish always know when to spawn and where
Why the bee gathers pollen to make the honey
As it pollinates the flowers
How the tree knows what year it is
As they start a new ring
Why babies instinctively know how to nurse
Whether it be bottle or breast
Or how to take that first breath of oxygen
That had already been provided
Where the darkness went when God created His Light
Plus the sun, and moon, and stars in our vast Universe
Why none of what I have mentioned
Was due to anything a human’s creativity
Could accomplish
These are just a few of the trillions upon trillions
Of God’s amazing miracles
That happen every moment of everyday
Yet ‘we’ act like ‘we’ had the plan
We are pompous strutters of ‘self’
Instead of being humble and eternally grateful
For the gifts He has bestowed on us and for us!
Thank You, Father and forgive us, Please.
Tap on the Heart
Sometimes a simple whisper of a hello
A tap on the heart with a smile
The tender touch of a kiss on the cheek
A bit of a talk on the phone
A pat on the back
Holding a hand with concern
Praying for comfort and peaceful rest
Such acts of kindness and gentle thoughtfulness
Can mean all the difference
To a hurting and lonely soul.
Storms of Life
It’s kind of funny yet scary
How life can turn inside out so quickly
Storms of life come quietly at first
Then building to a thunderous
Assault on the senses
What was predicted was even worse
Than expected
Riding high on the clouds of hope
Then crashing to the ground like two inch hail
Shattered by crushing disappointments
And lost time
Updrafts of sometimes courage and flashes
Of broken promises like lightning
Bright and awesome but gone
In an instant of reality
Leaving the damages behind
Picking up shattered pieces of this life
Tossed about by tornadic winds of change
Sudden realization of what can’t be
Sending the heart to find a covering of protection
So it won’t be damaged anymore
Afraid now of being so vulnerable
To the loss of further storms
That it may never recover or be the same again.
Perfect Faith
I see others on their walk of faith
Strong and so together
But that’s not me
I’m all over the place
One day I may pray and another
Totally forget
Doubt can be a companion
That rears it’s ugly head
I can help others to understand
A few things of what I know
Then be so mad at myself
For my shaky silliness and weakness
I read books about the great men
And women of God
I marvel at the knowledge to be
Gleaned by the anointed writers of Theology
Yet the one Book I ignore the most
Is the one I need the most
Perfect faith lives within the pages
Of this Book
Written by ‘The Author and Finisher’
Of my faith
The Alpha and Omega. The LORD of all
Yet I stumble on my path to Him
I fall so short and fail so much
I want to please and be a good child
But I get in the way
When I read of the trials and tribulations
Others have gone through
Or listen to them tell of great blessings
And the things they have done
I hang my head in shame
I have no crowns to lay at my Savior’s feet
Only a broken heart beaten up by life
Patched together with tattered threads
Of sin and remorse
Covered by excuses that I know would sink
Into the soggy quicksand of pity and woe
Yet I do truly believe that He loves me beyond measure
He forgives me my failures and laziness
When I repent then ‘He restores my soul
And cleanses me from all unrighteousness’
I don’t and can’t do it myself
My faith is in Him and Him alone
But as long as I live and breathe on this Earth
I will fail in my walk and my faith
But the One who flung the Universe across the Heavens
Still hold me in His arms as I cry my tears
Of regret at failing Him
Like a child I climb upon my Father’s lap
As I weep with a heart of gratitude
He tells me I am His beloved
That I am worthy ‘By the stripes that paid
The price for me’
One day I will leave this sinful world
And enter those Heavenly Gates of purest gold
No longer afraid or ashamed
My Savior will hold out His nail-scared hands
And welcome me into His home
I will be accepted completely and have
Beyond all shadows of doubt: A Perfect Faith!
Thank You, Jesus!
byheavenslight 